i think sometimes it's really hard in the early stages of recovery, when your body and mind are so battered and bruised and your spirit is crushed and weary, to see the light. a lot of people getting off booze or drugs for the first few times float on the pink cloud but when you've relapsed a few times you get get exhausted and beat down. it does get better. you just need time to heal, physically, mentally and spiritually. you're not alone. at the very least, you have this wonderful community behind you, supporting you, rooting for you. we're not just text on a screen. we're actual people gathered together. we here for a reason and we're here for you so know that you're never really alone. none of us are. we are a fellowship.