You're not pathetic and you sound a lot like me. So unless we're both crazy (which I guess IS possible, lol), the way we feel is right. We have all the right in the world to feel the way we do. I do think you need to get out. Now. If you're like me, which it sounds like you are, you feel like you need to justify your feelings before you allow yourself to act on them. You are a smart, capable woman who knows what she wants in life. Someone asked me today, "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I responded by telling them I want to be a working and successful accountant who is working toward person financial security. Then she said, "do you really think you'll get there with him in your life?" Sadly, I can't say that I will be if I keep him around. While he supports my going to school and working towards a career, I can't help but think he's hoping to make me his sugar-momma! Anyway... where do you want to be in 5 years? Can you do it with him constantly trying to beat you down?
I hope all ends well for you.
Keep us updated because I look forward to your success story!