It sounds to me like...
...you are codependent upon your husband and jealous of the daughter. Her behavior is completely normal for the child of an alcoholic and, frankly, what she does and her relationship with her father is none of your business in any way.
You are your business, he is his business, and she is her business.
Please consider some Alanon meetings if you haven't already. It will help you a great deal IMHO.
Take care,
Cyranoak