The alcohol numbs, represses, hides and masks the alcoholic's emotions. The alcoholic clutches the Big Booze Bottle in his/her hands, while you try to embrace him/her clutching it. You'll always be "at arm's length" from fully embracing each other, from true intimacy, so long as he/she clutches that Bottle.
Even after the alcoholic drops that Bottle (sobriety), it still can be in the way of intimacy until the Bottle is broken (in recovery). The alcoholic, in recovery, must change his/her "isms" and "stinking thinking," and revive his/her emotions - that is, get "emotional sobriety." If the alcoholic secures such Sober • Recovery and intimacy still is an issue, relationship counseling and/or medical attention should be considered or tried - if not already.