I was reading about that subject today in Codependent No More. She was talking about not feeling loveable, so we settle for being needed. She also said that we look for somebody who seems strong and able to be strong for us. We look too other people to provide good feelings for ourselves. I have a hard time saying, "No." Usually, it means I agree to do more than I can handle. Or, I agree to help somebody, when they could do it themselves. I feel good to help them, and then resentful because they used me.