...officially stating Day one for me...
Over the past few months I have drifted deeper and deeper into the abyss. Last night everything finally caught up with me and all my lies unfolded.
Feeling very scared of the future and incredibly ashamed that this happened yet again. I am trying not to beat myself up too much but it is very difficult. The only thing I can do is not drink/use today. I am almost glad it happened...life is so exhausting living that way.
The consequences of this relapse could be very severe...including losing the love and respect of my fiancé. I am not even sure if I will be able to continue living with her but I do not blame her. This roller coaster ride has lasted nearly seven years.
Sorry for the rant...just had to get that out.