Originally Posted by
lillamy 
We split our assets the way we wanted to. The judge just signed off on it after making sure that nobody got screwed over.
I have seen friends going through divorces and doing what your AH suggests -- one of them has kept their own 401K and the other the house (valued at equal value to the 401K). I don't think the court really cares who gets what, as long as it's split equally.
That's good to hear, I will still be consulting with a lawyer or professional mediator of course. Keeping the 401K was my AH's suggestion and he is well aware that if he withdrew from it before retirement age that he would have to pay penalties and taxes.
I have lots of friends whom I can go to for advice, as well. I still have financial advisors I can call, 2 of my neighbors are accountants, and I have my own experience in banking and finance. I really was just curious as to whether the courts forced you to split assets a certain way or not.