Welcome Release,
glad you are here, but so sorry to hear what you have been living.
Only you can decide when/if you've had enough. Personally, his vanishing for a day or two would be a dealbreaker for me, regardless of the alcoholism. Married men who love and respect their wives do not just vanish for a couple of days. I would be left to wonder what else he is doing,...... drugs? women? Addicts are LIARS. You may never learn the truth. I found being honest and truthful with myself, was all I really needed. Denial is no place (for me) to have to live.
Only you can add value to your life, presently he is an addict, and he is doing exactly what addicts do.
Please know you are not alone. Hope you continue to post and take the time to read the stickies at the top of the forum. Alot of powerful information, right at your fingertips.