I think, in most cases, the court would rather you figure out how you want things split. As far as I know, the court only gets involved when two people cannot come to an agreement. Also, in my state, there are guideline amounts for child support. If you deviate from the guideline, you have to justify it. I know nothing about spousal support except that it usually depends on how long you have been married.
All good questions for an attorney.
P.S. If you give up the retirement, then you have nothing when you do retire. Unless, of course, you save your own between now and then. If it were me, I'd think twice about trading the house for the retirement. Especially with the housing market the way it is.
L