I am new to this forum but not new to the life with a alcoholic .
We have been married 20+ years and as I sit here right now and look back, I can't remember too many times that alcohol has ruined events in our lives.
I have done the same thing that others have done, as in telling him to stop or I am leaving. He knows by now that is just empty threats.
His family have a history of alcoholism and he says I'm not an alcoholic, I just like to drink a few beers.
The biggest problem is one beer becomes 3 then 6 then 12, he never knows when to stop.
He has gone to work a few times smelling of alcohol and has almost totaled our vehicle on one of his binges. He is not a mean drunk, just a stupid one. I can smell him a mile away, as I don't drink and he will deny it until the next day. The next day s of course, I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I am stressed at work and all the standard excuses I am sure everyone here has heard.
He most recently started with the going to a football game and not coming home. He has a few times just disappeared and not answer his phone and then come back a day or so later with the me excuses.
He has a few medical conditions that make it where he should not be drinking but he is invincible or so he thinks.
I know that I have enabled him for many years and that is my fault, but I am at a point in my life where I just want to be happy. I don't want to be at work and constantly wonder what I am going to come too.
Both of my parents are deceased and my 2 oldest children are grown and have families of their own. They are tired of me calling and crying upset about his actions, so I keep a lot to myself. I am strong willed and have carried this weight around for years
Most recently, my youngest daughter was arrested for possession with intent to distribute marijuana and heroin, so we at waiting for her court date now. She is now 18 and I am ready to have both of them gone. Is that terrible as parent to want your child out of your house?
I have a great job that I love and I think that is what keeps me sane most days.
As I read through here, I see many have some of the same experiences that I have or am having. Where do you get the strength to finally say enough is enough?
Just sitting here writing has made me feel a little better, because there is no talking to him.
One more thing that may seem trivial but it bothers the heck out of me. He plays on Facebook all day and has even taken to getting phone numbers of people he doesn't even know and sits and texts them all day. He even does the same wih people , mostly women that he meets with his job. I feel like this is very disrespectful to me and he will even do it when he is home at night with me. I didn't know if I am just blowing it out of proportion but it does bother me.
I took the alanon test and I answered YES to 16 ? I am just at my wits end and some days don't even feel like I have a husband anymore as his wife is the alcohol.
"