Colorado Man, I know what you mean...I see him reach for the rocks glass as soon as he walks in the door and the smell of the bourbon makes me want to wretch. Thing is, he *does* know he's an alcoholic, but he doesn't want to stop/doesn't see it as being a problem yet. Several of his colleagues are falling down drunks and getting in fights on weekend, but he is just mellow and stays at home so he figures it is ok for now. I think the main reason I'm worried that it will be a threat to my sobriety is that eventually I will be watching him do that 'unwinding' thing and think, gosh it would be nice to do that with a big glass of red wine....but unwinding with one glass of wine for me ends up blacking out by about the 6th or 7th month of "moderating"; I know this from experience. I just need some more tools in my toolbox at this point, hence the outpatient help I'm going to try to get.