Welcome! Ah, the delusions- we all suffered under them. When I did my drinking in bars I was fine because I was "social drinking". When I started drinking alone it was still fine because it was just beer. When I switched to wine it was still okay because I was expanding my palette and becoming cultured. When I got to the point I'd drink anything it was okay because I work hard and don't I deserve to relax?:rotfxko
Eventually though something happens that forces us to confront all the lies we tell ourselves and admit we have a problem. Congrats on taking the step you needed to get your life back.