Originally Posted by Chardonnay740

I'm so new to recovery, that I have my moments, mostly due to habit, that I really want to drink. Then my mind wanders and I romanticize it. Not the drunk, but the first drink. Then I think about being drunk at my grandfathers wake, being drunk in front of my kids, not remembering crying on the phone, text messages I sent out, or the way I treated people, and ya know what? It shoots down the theory real fast. I don't care if I can ever drink normal again, right now I'm not willing to test out the theory.