DesertEyes

Hello quillan, and pleased to "meet" you

I think what you need to do in that situation has already been done. Perhaps that is why it does not apear clear to you.

I divorce my ex some time ago. Once upon a time she was a lovely, wonderful lady. She became addicted to pain pills and everything fell apart. After we divorced I developed a nasty disease which I have been fighting ever since. Some days are awful, other days are good.

Just like you mentioned, I wondered if I should call my ex and tell her how sick I was. In my case it was just an old habit, I had always shared my life with her, good and bad. What I realized, after a few al-anon meetings, is that I has _already_ done what needed to be done.

This woman I had married was no longer capable of reaching out to me with kindness and compassion. She had at one time, but not anymore. What I needed to do, as a result of being diagnosed with a horrible disease, was to surround myself with good people and keep away from those who just make my life even harder.

I had already done what needed to be done. I divorced her and moved out of town. What I needed to do next was _reduce_ the stress in my life, not increase it. So I went to lots of meetings of al-anon, made new friends, got a new sponsor, started a new life. Taking care of my own life has made a huge difference. I have lived far longer and in much better shape than my docs predicted, I've seen new places and done things I never imagined I would. All of that simply because I followed a few suggestions I heard in al-anon.

My life isn't over just because my past life is over. My life is just starting because there's a whole new life starting for me right now. You can have a new life too, Quillan. Just look at the thousands upon thousands of people right here on this forum that are making a new life for themselves, one day at a time.

Mike