So...update.
He is now in detox. I have known for a very very long time that I was the rock bottom-if I left him, he would go. So here we are.
After that he is going to a 28 day rehab. And after that, he is going to a halfway house until the restraining order is up and we figure out what we are doing.
And he has to go to domestic violence counseling, as do I.
It can be done. A girl I work with said her husband used to do all kinds of drugs and beat on her all the time, but when he FINALLY stopped, he became the best guy ever and never hit her again. So you know, I don't think I am wrong because I want to give him a second chance (I know I have given him a hundred second chances, but this time there will be no alcohol), because he is going to be a totally different person. Who knows, the person that comes out of rehab may be someone I completely hate, but at least then I would know, the alcohol wasn't the problem.