Under the Influence
Someone on this forum recommended this book and it is saving my sanity. These two quotes, especially under The Deteriorative Stage:
"He is usually tense and anxious unless he is drinking. One slighting remark or questioning glance, and he is immediately irritated. An unmade bed, a telephone call during the cocktail hour, a dirty bathtub, no more catsup, an unpaid bill, a driver honking his horn -- any one event is enough to set him off. He explodes, screaming at the kids, cursing his wife, humiliating his secretary; then he stomps off. Later he feels guilty and ashamed. These emotional outbursts occur most often when the alcoholic is in withdrawal, and they only confirm to him his need for a drink."
"The wife or husband may feel responsible; he or she also feels worthless, incompetent, useless and unloved, and suffers crippling guilt and self-pity."
It all makes so much sense now... I wonder why I ever took any of his ugly tirades so personally.