Thanks for the great information, L2L. I used to teach a section of a college course on relationship violence and, incredibly, it was many years before I realized that my own relationship fit into the power and control wheel. The most important "take away" for many of us is to realize that physical violence is usually the last resort of the abusive partner. Emotional abuse can be subtle, too, but still does incredible damage to the survivor's psyche.
Here are the wheels again--I posted them at some point this summer in response to a post. And some of us have also mentioned here Lundy Bancroft's incredibly helpful book,
Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men. http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/Equality.pdf