Original post by Transformyself
Addiction Journal
“What they put us through” – not intentional!
October 1, 2012
“What they put us through” – not intentional! « Addiction Journal
I attended a 12-step meeting this week and was talking to another parent outside in the parking lot. I inquired about how their child was doing. They responded, “She is incarcerated.” The parent then sheepishly admitted they were enjoying the peace on the home front.
Peace due to incarceration – This is a normal emotion for parents of addicts. The fact is Parents of addicts are often more relaxed when their active child is incarcerated. Peace with a side order of guilt! But we do love the main course of Peace! But I digress ….
The parent continued on saying ” After all she put us through…” At that point I reminded them, “Their addiction is not about us parents. Our addict children are not “putting us through” anything. They are painfully living the life of addiction. We are merely the collateral damage.” They paused, then smiled and said “You’re right! ” (I love to be right!) Then I told them I had some very good teachers! (That would be the person reading this blog today)
Our kids don’t use drugs to hurt parents. They don’t want to put us through trauma. It just happens to play out that way. Our children love us and feel totally guilty when they abuse us, or are totally not factoring us in. Most times we are only factored in when we can be manipulated to further their usage.
We all get angry at certain times during their addiction but I was always cautioned to remember it’s a disease. Again they are not putting us through anything…well intentionally anyway.
We emotionally bleed for our kids…it’s normal. We must learn to contain the bleeding .
Peace and strength!