Great question.
When I met my partner he was recovered from a bad coke habit. He told me about it but I was young and falling in love. I was swept up in this person. The first 8 years were incredible. Then we moved to a rural area. Where we found our selves doing drugs and drinking a lot.
I remember sitting on the porch and saying to him that this isn't right. We are going down the wrong path. Still we marched on. After another 4 years things were really bad. But everything seemed ok still.
Then in 2006 I forced the sale of our homes and moved out. I wanted this person to hit the reset button with me. He did kinda.
Everyone thought we were crazy. No one knew just how bad the drugs got. Crack, powder. We were the two less likely to break up and a solid couple that people looked up to.
We moved to the larger near by city. We both moved into apartments on the same street. Lol but at either end.
Slowly we started doing grocery shopping together. Cooking for each other. Reminded in each other of what we had. What we lost. And ultimately what we could have again.
He was offered a job in another state. Big bucks so you cannot say not. So I decided to come with him.
We are here now. Working hard at staying sober together. When there are two in a relationship that are users there are really three. Me, him, and us.
The love I have for this person is not unconditional. Due to issues we treat it with the respect it deserves. No assumptions about anything. We both must want it and put our hearts into it.
It's working rather well. With closing in on 19 years we have learned a lot. Lived a lot. Lost a lot.and gained a lot.
When I think about what my future will include. It starts with him. And a sober us.
K