Originally Posted by
LoveMeNot 
To my surprise, my husband became humble, apologized and admitted he has a long road ahead of him. He gave me the all the money and told me to pay whatever needed to be paid and to put the rest away in my account.
I am not sure how I feel about things right now.
I now understand why people should not be with someone in early recovery. The roller coaster of emotions can still exist. However, this time - I did not get on. I stood firm, kept my boundaries, and I did not attempt to control or rescue. It's his battle and he must fight it alone. I am pleased to say...he did acknowledge a big difference in my attitude and told me he was glad to see me becoming stronger to his "nonsense."
More will be revealed.
Thank you for this perspective. I learned to love the "more will be revealed" concept. It helps me with patience and trust. Rather than the glib assertion that comes from well meaning friends that everything is peachy keen in the moment, when it might not be fine in the moment at all. The truth is that the moment may be heartbreaking or infuriating or whatever. But I can grasp the idea that I can and will hang in there because
more will be revealed. That the story is not over.
I've been struggling with the loss of my ABF who is in early recovery. What I've learned in the last week since the breakup is that the roller coaster of early sobriety is very real for me as well as him. I have to anticipate that I will be on the roller coaster for awhile and plan ahead. One way would be to minimize my time on the roller coaster by limiting contact with him (although I haven't mastered that one and still cave in) and setting up many more supports in my life. (I have done well with that and added group therapy and extra Alanon to my week's lineup)
Your post about his newfound respect for not taking his BS reminded me of something new for me: I notice that he doesn't protest as he would have before when I assert boundaries. He stills cross my lines sometimes, but I think my decreasing tolerance for the BS has been interpreted as renewed respect for me and my space. So that's one good thing.
Sending you many hugs and support.