I haven't posted here in a while- though I read posts every day.
I don't post cos I think I'm not going through enough problems at the moment.
My RAH has been in recovery for 6 months now - he goes to AA, I go to AlAnon.
We never ask each other about our recovery- sometimes we share- but nothing of consequence. For us, after a few sessions of MC, we have realized that we need privacy around our recovery issues- there are things we are not willing to discuss with each other at this moment.
For me- Acceptance was what brought me to this point of our recovery. I have learnt through Al Anon to accept that I cannot control my RAH's recovery , that I have no right to expect him to behave in a way I expect him too. Life is not perfect - we both display isms constantly still- but Acceptance that the only person I can control is myself has helped me detach from my husband's recovery! Right now this is easy as my husband is in recovery, and is working it as much as he can - this could change at any moment.
Liz- I hope that this helps in some little way, God bless.