I think some of us can dig some pretty deep holes for ourselves Mizzuno...
I know it took me quite a while to climb out back into the sun, but people here told me I would, eventually, and I trusted them. They were right.
and then like Laurie said, it took me a while to work out what this strange sorta uncomfortable feeling was...
I kept expecting drama and trouble around the next corner...it took me a while to stop doing that
Stick with it...you're on the right road - trust me
D