Early recovery is rough. Sometimes worse than rough. Horrible. But the only way it gets better is to stay the course. It really, really, really does get better. I know, a cliche, but it's true.
But it doesn't get better when you are on the roller coaster of using, detoxing, clean a short while, relapsing....over and over. If anything, the withdrawals get worse with every relapse.
Quit while you are ahead. Make this stint your last one.