Ive been working on things internally, helping people, doing positive things for myself. I feel stale. I am a stale piece of dried out bread. I thought that if i shared it might change my internal state.
I finally realized that I am a lump on a log......( Im laughing at myself when I describe what i am right now....stale bread....lump. Its entertaining) Anyways, Im accessing the situation and acknowledging my frame of mind. Maybe admitting that i have a issue right now will change how i feel.
Wherever I go, there i am. When i stop to think about all that has been going on, I realize that there has been a lot on my plate of life. Heaps and piles of life. Life is life. I will take this dull feeling of unhappiness over drinking.
(((((Mizzuno))))
Boy did this thread and your posts bring up the memories of the first time this happened to me.
I went to my sponsor and we discussed this. Actually she did most of the talking and I listened, rofl
Turned out for me, I had been cleaning up the wreckage of my past, I was helping others, and there was no drama in my life. My life was actually peaceful and I just didn't know what that was, roflmao
What I was feeling was contentment! WOW turns out I was having a different form of 'happiness'. And I learned to enjoy that contentment also, because yep "this too shall pass" happened. However, it has returned many times since that episode and I have learned to be happy for:
no wreckage to clean up
no drama
and I continue to help and work with others.
You are growing my friend and that is AWESOME!!!!!
I found that the first few years into recovery I had to ask about many different 'feelings' and 'emotions' I was having. I had NUMBED myself so well for so many years that I had no clue and needed help putting the correct label on what I was feeling.
Thank you for starting this thread.
Love and hugs,