Fallow, for reasons we can all understand - you lost this day.
But you haven't yet lost yourself. Tomorrow you can fight again. Fighting hurts, and it doesn't feel good until each battle is over. When you're in the middle of the battle it's rage, and pain, and sorrow. But when you've kicked ass, and you think about that before you close your eyes for the night, you'll find some peace, which will prepare you for the next time.
Your daughter deserves for you to be the hero you are. You came into this world an awesome person. Life changed you. But at the core, you are just as awesome now as you were on your first day. Don't let that child that was you go through this suffering - fight for him!
And don't let the little girl that depends on you lose her dad - fight for her too.
*huge hugs* You don't have to apologize to me for your post - I'm not judging you today, or tomorrow or the next day. I've been there, and I'm also living proof you can win the war!