Ann great to see you dear friend!!
Jenna, I too have written compulsively since I was about 13. I have had to explain thoroughly to my boyfriend that my first and natural language is the written word. It is how I express myself best. If he waited to hear my feeling spoken from my mouth, it would never happen.
I, too, worry about overwhelming others with my volumes and volumes of thoughts and feelings...
My boyfriend usually has more than a dozen emails to wade through every morning. But after he understood that it is my language he became very encouraging. And he gets to know me better than the whole year we were together. He is a talker, so I would just let him do the talking. He would ask me questions, but I freeze up. Oh, I can chatter....office gossip etc....but not talk real things. I think the only person I can talk to is my daughter. and that is because I raised her and we are much alike, on the same wavelength.
And we all learn from what you write. I learn about myself. How wonderful to share ideas! Two heads are better than one. And we all help each other in gaining perspective.
Hey, for example...last night I watched Paul Simon's Graceland concert....I then stayed up until 4 in the morning writing about social conscience and bigotry etc etc etc. A passionate and intelligent piece, and no one has a clue these things are in me.
I sent it to Danny (bf) because I do need one confidante. And he is so tolerant and loving to me about my strange quirks. I don't know why but he must really love me because he has been incredibly tolerant and patient waiting for me to trust him and love him back. And I stubbornly had no intention of either. And was vocal about it, I enjoyed his companionship...he was willing to do the driving for my weekend trips and put up with my eccentricities....driving in complete silence because the radio etc gets on my nerves....and when I do put in a cd I am an absolute control junkie....he would listen to everything from Metallica LOUD to bluegrass. I only showed up to see him when I felt like it. On Thursdays I would give him my itinerary...I want you to drive us to Vero Beach because I want to eat at the Patio and go to the art fest.
I had planned and told him, the day will come when my project is finished and I will leave here..this is for enjoyment now and only for as long as it lasts. I will leave.
It wasn't until I was over here that he did something so powerful to my thinking that I fell in love with him. Then I wrote him and said I changed my mind I was going to keep him.
See. I didn't know I was going to write about my boyfriend. Wasn't planning on it. But my fingers just tap out the free flow thoughts. And feelings. Feelings are so hard for me.
I HATE your work situation and would like to give your boss a serious wedgie.
I want to know how your therapy is going...and with me, feel free to write 20 pages. It's all good.
LOVE and hugs,
tena