Something is changing!!
So I went to see my therapist again today and after 40 mins she stopped and said "do you know you have not talked about him at all."
It was all about me, how I feel, what I need and what I want in MY life. I am no longer looking at his pupils and wondering what the truth is! I am getting to the point, I don't care anymore what he does with his life. Its his to live anyway he wants and my life is mine to live the way I want.
I filed for bankruptcy last week, I am letting the bank take the house because I will not be locked into a 5 year plan (chapter 13) with him. I am angry about our financial situatiion but I also see a sense of freedom that comes with it.
I know I can not be in a marriage without trust and I do not trust him. I doubt I ever will again. I guess that says it all.