I know I want a better life.
I read some of your stories and I am saddened. I remember feeling as so many of you do. I read some stories and I am grateful that my situation never got as bad as yours. I read the posts and I watch some of you grow and I feel proud of you. I am happy with you! And there are even times that I have read posts and found myself crying right along with you as well.
Personal boundaries was a strange concept to me. I realized after coming here that I had none. I was a doormat, plain and simple. I always wanted a better life, but realized that the things I thought I needed/wanted to have a better life were mostly centered around my A and wanting him to change. I knew also that although I wanted a better life, I was clueless as to how to get it! Well......that was then and now is now.
I know that I want a better life. I am trying to get that.
I will not ever live with an active user again.
I will never take the blame again for someone else's choices.
I shall not pay the consequences of someone else's choices.
I will only accept someone giving me what I give them, nothing less.
I will not clean up another person's body fluids because of their addiction.
I will not clean up an A's mess that they made while using (whether it be financial or otherwise)
I will not allow someone to treat me badly to make themselves feel better.
I will not allow my self-respect to be taken away.
I will no longer try to argue or reason with someone that is under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
I will not allow anyone to suck me into thier life to the point that my priorities are skewered. I will remain focused on my children and myself first!
I shall not let someone that doesn't understand what it's like to live with an A convince me that they are right in thier thoughts and feelings.
I will not allow another person to convince me that my feelings are not real or that they do not matter.
I will continue to work on myself! And remind myself that other's are not my responsibility to change!
There are many other things that I will not do and things that I will do to get my life in order. I just wanted to share with you that I am on my way to a better life and I choose to succeed! I know that I want a better life - and I will have a better life!
Won't you all join me in posting how you plan to acheive getting a better life! Perhaps we will get ideas from each other - but we are also putting ourselves out there to be held accountable by our supporters here as we continue on our journey!