Chris,
Ok, the grown up me is back. It's a drag always being the grown-up in the relationship. I remember thinking, am I really asking so much from you for you to get it together just a little bit. And then I realized the answer was yeah! it was but that didn't mean I had to stop wanting him to be a grown-up.
It all seems so easy - yet for them they are so far from reality that they don't have any clue where "Reality" is on the map. The only thing that we can do is speak, live, and require the truth from and for ourselves and from and for those around us. We do that with our children, and our As don't get off the hook.
Petunia
P.S. You're wearing better prescription lenses than he is and you have your eyes open - kind of makes a difference.