Terrible, terrible 24 hours. Very uncomfortable last night, very sad memories and thoughts.
I'm proud of myself that I didn't drink. I really didn't even want to.
Then today out of the blue my family is fighting which is something that never happens. Some have backed out of a family dinner I am having tonight at my house. The people who are coming have no idea and will be bringing wine. I didn't say not to because at the timeshe said it I was feeling very strong, but I am sick to my stomach about what's going on in my family right now. And I'm angry too but I always get sick worrying someone I love will die while we're not on the best speaking terms. And I am work and have to leave a couple times because I can't control my crying. This is my first blindsided trigger, something I didn't see coming, something I didn't plan for, and something I would usually go home and self-destruct over.