BKarchitect

Given that this particular forum is about us treating ourselves and knowing that it is impossible for one to "fix" another person...should I surmise that it is the setting of your own boundaries and rules that will induce the change, either in the status of the relationship or the other person's willingness to seek their own help?

I've done some reading on the boundaries part that is useful. My problem has often been that the boundaries I am trying to set are meant for her, not me and thus they don't work.

Example..."Let's try and eat out only once or twice this week, we'll save money and drink less". Probably not a good "boundary" example huh?

Last night, I got home from work, ate dinner...she calls me up an hour later, says she is leaving work and to meet for sushi. AKA...she wants to drink some wine. I told her I was full, was in my comfy evening clothes and didn't want to go out. She threw a hissy fit over text, said she was just going to go by herself then. I let her. I feel like this was at least a step in the right direction because I didn't help enable her or make some wishy-washy statement.