sidney

Morning glory,
Thanks for getting back to me. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD from my abusive marriage (2nd one). MY first husband was a pedofile and absued my daughter and probably my son.
Looking back on the abusive marriage I learned so much because I got the contrast of having a husband (3rd) who was my best friend. I dont even care that I have PTSD because the shock of coming home alone and finding my husband dead seems to be way more intense. I would like the flash backs to go away. I would like the vision of the body bag being rolled though my living room to go away. But they cant . They are my life.
So I do the same thing everyday. I have an ridiculous amount of appointments for Jared and now starting for Eric. I work my ass off at work and then have these damn appointments and then coming home and pouring myself a glass of wine. I dont know how I would get through the day knowing I couldnt do that. So I in turn feel discusted with myself for lack of control, but at the same time dont care. What a mess. I am weak.
Thanks,
Sidney