Recovery is my only option
Hey guys,
I've decided to stop chasing after the next heroin/alcohol fix with the help of my family and AA. I got on suboxone which I will use for only a week because I have used it longterm before and I didn't have a severe habit (couldn't afford one) so I'd rather not be on it longer then a week. I'm also trying Wellbutrin to help with the severe depression, having BBQ'd my life, accumulated more debt, scared the crap out of my friends, and family, and just gave up temporarily on life when I was blowing money everyday on heroin and using the needle. I feel really bad about it, and it's hard to start over and give sobriety another chance. But I fully believe my last relapse taught me a lot and this time 'is it'.
I'm on Day 5 and I'm going to be moving into a guys sober living house which will help me keep in line during early sobriety. I'm really going to have to re=learn how to live my life because drugs/alcohol have left such a big void in me and I've been grieving the loss of them these last few days.
Anyways, for those who remember my "oh, the agony of heroin' thread, I'm here to let you all know I really sympathize with your struggle to put down the bottle, opiates, meth pipe. It seems unrealistically hard sometimes. But for me sobriety is the only way that I can have a life. It's basically my life or drugs, I can't have both.
And to be honest, being in my own little world where heroin is all I care about had it's moments where I was going insane, losing my mind, waiting in utter agony for my connect to call me. I feel so much more free now. I hate drugs for what they have done to me and my life.