Jeni, it's not to late to be somebody different if you want - or maybe just a new and improved Jeni
Thanks to everyone here, I don't even want to name names, but want each and every one of you to know how much comfort I take in reading your posts.
I'm starting a day 8. It wasn't the *easiest* sober weekend, since I was around quite a bit of alcohol. I have to curb my feelings of feeling sorry for myself, I can't expect because I come into town that friends lay off the booze. And it is some work for me to not take it personally - but I can't, because it has always been this way. The friends I am with know that I don't drink and I feel supported by them, but these particular friends also seem to require a lot of alcohol to have fun. And they continue to need more the next day to cure the hangover. I reminded myself how great it is to feel free of it. And that is not a lie, it truly is wonderful to be free of that vicious cycle. I know in my heart of hearts that joining in on the imbibing doesn't turn out to be the great time I wish it could be. That's good information for me to have and I will keep that in my thoughts.
I am still reflecting on my slip, and the past year or so of my on/off the sobriety wagon. I had been invited to a show next week with someone I've previously slipped with & let her know I wouldn't be able to make it. I don't feel strong enough yet for it. There is a small part of me that feels guilt-ridden about turning down the invite since I don't have a conflict, but I am also working on feeling good about putting myself first. This person is also someone that has been there for me at times but I choose to limit my time with her because I see addictive traits in her personality and I don't always feel energized by my time with her, it can be draining.
OK enough with this rambling again. Love to you all May-mates. I am grateful to be a part of this bunch.