thanks to you all so far
You are all so wise...and you are right, its a waste of time to snoop and check up on her...if she is using I will eventually know it, and if she's not, I will know that too. It's also counterproductive to everything - it just makes the addict feel like they are being policed, which in turn elicits irritation and anger...because it would in me.
I will focus more on me....and let it be what it is. BTW, the stickies at the top are great...I especially LOVE the powerful posts one.
-TP