What helped me was pure luck. I happen to live near a playground. I kept hearing the squeals and yells of play from a distance, so I went and sat there and watched them. I realized that life and laughter were continuing on around me--all I had to do was open my heart and watch it.
He's only one person on a miraculous planet that all kinds of life is happening at any given moment...everywhere around the world people are laughing, crying, loving, talking, being born and dying...all that living going on, life in motion all around me...he was not the end, nor the beginning of my life, but just a piece of my story...he didn't hold the answers to life...I didn't even need the answers to the puzzle of him...I saw that I too needed to get busy and join the living...obsessing about one person while the entire world goes on around me? Naw...I think I'll join in.
The most important thing for me was to accept that I never need solve the puzzle of him. It's ok not to solve that puzzle, it really is. It isn't our job to solve the puzzle of why someone else is the way they are, that's their job. There are so many other things to discover in life...curiousity for life in general...not just one person.