Tangerinepuddle,
Thank you for your post. I am so sorry you are facing this and I totally respect where you are and your desire to stick it out. I stayed with my AH as well. He is currently in recovery and doing really well, actually. The only difference, I suppose, between you and me is that I did not know my husband was using until he decided to tell me out of the blue and asked for help. Talk about a shock. So with that in mind, I can't imagine how hard it must be to KNOW she's using (catching her with the needle, lung infection, etc) and actually attempt to have some sense of normalcy for yourself? You are definitely in a unique situation as you will find many, many of us (most of us) were lied to, deceived, completely oblivious to what was going on. Once you know....all you can really do is set some really clear boundaries and stick to them. For me, I simply can not live in a house (i have children too---with my husband of course) with an active addict. Never. Too much chaos, too many risks, so many things could happen. I mean, drugs are in your house? That would scare me....it did scare me when I found out. Protect yourself. Love her, but set some safe boundaries and stick to them. Hugs to you!