Thank you Lizloh,
That is very helpful and I can see how denial is part of how and why I am feeling this way about his visit.
I am very, very uncomfortable with anger in the way my A expressed it. I don't want to experience it or face it. And I don't want to believe that his anger is so much a part of who he is. But, alas, it is.
Putting my head in the sand about anything and everything was very much a way of life for me living with him.
Clearly, my energy needs to be on my recovery and taking care of my boys. Not on arranging his flatware!!!!
