I am so afraid of what I am going to do with myself.
Everyone feels that way at first.... you just have to trust that it's going to get better. My thoughts/emotions were all over the place, too - any thoughts of the future were totally overwhelming and made me want to drink. I just had to keep pulling my mind back to the moment and deal with the next 5 minutes or hour, or whatever I could manage. For the first few days, I stayed on this forum constantly. It was the only way I could implant some positive thoughts/motivation into my brain.
Will not be able to have my son over cuz I will want to drink with him.
If not to seeing him for a week or two makes it easier for you to stay sober, that's OK. Take it slow, maybe meet him for lunch one day, whatever you feel comfortable with.
It's not easy, because we've forgotten how to do things and how to be happy without drinking, but we don't have to learn it all right away.