Lara and Binky,
I recently have been struggling with the concepts of loss, grief, acceptance; and what happens when you cant find acceptance and peace.
Loss and grief is what started my son down the path of drinking, and then cocaine use.
I have it in my heart, that he will never end his use of substances (permanently) until he is able to accept the loss, forgive himself , let go of the 'ifs', and find peace in his heart.
There is also a special forum on here for Grief.... I just discovered it a few days ago if either of you are interested in reading there.
Binky,
I think if this is your first post, to get the attention from all members (as it deserves) I would try opening up a new thread on this forum wall.
Copy what you have written here, and then once you leave this post; and are back at the main page, you can look to your upper left hand side, and click on the new thread button. Then just paste your story in and submit.