Heyo Change4life, I hear ya. I am in a similar situation. I was sober for 4 weeks, then for some reason went on a 3 day weekend bender. Because of it I ignored the one person who needed me (my-ex). We had been working on trying to mend our broken relationship and I had hopes of it working, but because of me drinking, and lying, she is out the door for good this time. I have only been sober about 24hrs now. But I feel like crud. it has been an emotional roller coaster of a day. Physically and emotionally I am exhausted. I had a bout of insomnia last night, due to the detox, so now I am at work, running on caffeine. And all I want to do is make my ex-happy. Something I never seemed to get right. I have hurt her to many times in the past, some things through drinking, others through me not thinking before I act. But I know that overall it was my fault. And I think that is what hurts the most... and now I am crying again... I am a sap today. (gotta keep it together around the guys, military doesn't like emotional types). I know that I am not offering you any advice, I just hope you don't feel so lonely. You aren't the only one in pain. Hope things work out better for you then they are for me right now. I think another AA session is in the works tonight. need to stay strong.