I appreciate the support that you all are giving me. It is really helping me.
I bought a Daily Study Bible for Women yesterday and that is also helping. It has a lot of references to certain scriptures for all kinds of circumstances, lonliness, infidelity, love, difficult husband, forgiveness, etc. Since I have been questioning what love is, I found some great references to help me understand the purpose of love and how God wants us to be.
Tonight, I went to get my hair done. I did something a little funky and more drastic than I have ever did my hair. I needed to do something for myself to make myself feel better. It has been a while since I spent some money on ME.
It has been (6) nights since I seen him last and I have been praying everyday. Every couple of times each day, I get a panic attack and feel like I am short of breath like if I'm going to faint. I start shaking, but then I stop and start praying for god to give me the strength and then I eventually get over it.
I do have to say it is quite peaceful around here. Also, my house is clean! When he was home. Whatever he dropped, whether it be food or clothes, he wouldn't pick it up. He would make a mess and I was using all my time picking up after him.
I still miss him though.