Please tell my husband WHY he needs alanon
Hello...
I am the alcoholic in the dynamic... and DH needs to get himself to al-anon. I am working my program... I have a sponsor and am building a network of sober friends... doing the steps... life isn't easy but I'm not dead yet. I just got a full-time job... I have almost 6 months in the program, my last drink was 174 days ago. I am committed and conscientious and make time for him and really LISTEN and be present. I am truly a grateful recovering alcoholic. However, as most know-- recovery is not like healing a broken bone. It is not quick or easy.
Insights are welcome: We met and dated/fell in love only one month before I quit drinking... then I quit... because he seemed like a good man and I was tired of hurting people with my disease. I didn't want to hurt him. After another month, I attended my first AA meeting... and then we married only 4 weeks later. It wasn't a very bright thing to do... had I had any idea the depths of his codependency issues I would not have vowed to take them on in early recovery and married... when here at 6 months in, my recovery isn't getting much easier, its layers after layers peeling back... more being revealed.
I need his support. I am doing all that time allows (I just went from working 20 hours a week to working 55 hours a week... ) and am exhausted at the end of each day... what I need is a hug and "did you talk to your sponsor?" and not an argument because he misinterprets my moods and/or words. He is also a work-aholic... codependent.
I also attend ACOA once a week... I don't know what else to do... I am doing my part in this... it is not fair-- he knows what he married. He was fully cognizant of the fact that I was an active alcoholic for 17 years prior to meeting him, and that this was going to take some time.
What can I tell him that other people get from Al-anon?? How do you encourage others to participate in your fellowship?
Thank you.