Originally Posted by
outtolunch 
It looks like your son, his wife and 2 kids have been living with your for 4-5 years, now. Under the very best of circumstances, this is not a healthy arrangement for anyone. It sounds like all it's accomplished is mutual dependence and keeps your son a perpetual adult child.
Know that your home is not their only option and the longer they continue to live there, the more challenging it will be for anyone to achieve some semblance of normal.
Oh no, he and his wife divorced quite a while ago. His kids live with their mom but he gets them in the summer and every other weekend. He also is in and out of my house (but mostly in) but this time when he leaves he won't be coming back.
The problem is when he was out and using then his now ex wife would let him do visitation and he had them in this not very good neighborhood and I was afraid he'd be high when driving them. Their mom is not an addict but she didn't seem concerned enough to only let them have supervised visits. So I let him live with me for that reason and I'm sure for other reasons but that was my excuse. I still think it was valid but maybe that was wrong. I realize I could have called Children's Services, etc. if I was worried about them but just went with having them visit at my house to avoid putting them through the trauma that getting involved with Children's Services might be for them.
Anyhow, I know you're right and thanks!
Kari