You aren't defeated, you are now empowered with knowledge so you can make choices for yourself.
Earthworm
Originally Posted by
Learn2Live 
Many of us come here to SR after reading a description of Narcissism and say it sounds just like the alcoholic spouse or significant other. This excerpt from, "Why Is It Always About You?" by Sandy Hotchkiss, seems to describe AXBF perfectly. It is bringing me peace and serenity today to read this book. I am beginning to better understand who I have been living with these past few years. Maybe it will help you today too.
This just explains so very much for me. I'm sitting here shaking my head. I feel so defeated.