Yikes! Thats a tough one and unfortunately, one I have no advice for? I am so sorry you are going through this. All I can say is read around SR and it will become quite clear that enabling is THE WORST possible thing you can do for your son. He really has no reason to stop using, because you all provide him with everything he needs it sounds like. With no consequences, why quit? It's not harming anyone...not even your son. Maybe try to tell your husband that and see if it clicks. Hugs to you!