Originally Posted by
Pelican 
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm glad you found us, but sorry for the reason that brought you here. SR is a wonderful resource of support and information. Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
You have a few weeks to go before you deliver your baby. Please keep your focus on your needs and the needs of your child. Allow the other adult in the relationship to care for himself.
You didn't arrive in this situation overnight, and it will take time to work on solutions. Your plan to stay in the condo a little longer seems like a good idea at this time. If you need to protect yourself and your baby from his drunken behavior ~ ask him to leave. Even if it is temporary (day, week, month), give yourself the time and space you need while you focus on taking care of yourself and your precious child.
Stick around, we care about you.
THIS!
You guys are at a very stressful time right now, I would suggest maybe not making any huge decisions for a few weeks, you are kinda in the middle of creating a little person and that is hard work.
My recovering alcoholic wife had a drink a couple weeks ago - first one in 8 months and she is about 8 weeks behind you in her pregnancy. I kinda freaked out for a few days and was racing around my head trying to figure out what to DO about it. The answer was:
1. Nothing to do, she had a drink, felt a kick, puked it right out and hasn't had another. Meanwhile I lost a week of my life to being nuts because it scared the crap outta me.
2. Get myself to al-anon finally and this place where I could talk to others who have the same frustrations and fears but more practice and perspective on dealing with it.
So take a breath.... It is good that you established a boundary with him but it is your boundary. If enforcing it will be harder on YOU than it is on HIM then you can be flexible - it's your boundary, you get to move it to suit your needs TODAY which are different than 11 months ago (just a bit, huh!?!?!?).
Take care of you and the critter and maybe go to an al-anon meeting if you can find one with comfortable chairs. He went to an AA meeting and is making noises about doing the right things. You did not cause, can't control and can't cure his disease and it is a disease, not HIM that is making life miserable.
Sounds like you let him know that he has a wife who needs him and a baby about to be born and that if he wants the two of you in his life then he needs to stop. Maybe that's enough for now if he doesn't drastically rock the boat.
Do some reading too. Like me, you had no idea what alcoholism is when you said he should cut back. They can't cut back - they can stop and not drink or they can drink. Every alcoholic or spouse or loved one of an alcoholic herewill tell you that an alcoholic has zero ability to keep a promise to stop at X number of drinks unless X is 0. Once the first one is in, the disease is driving, not the patient.
OK. Enough worrying about what you can't control and can't do much about tonight. Now for the really important thing: YOU ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!! So what Stroller/carseat combo are you going with? Now that is a seriously momentous decision that you control and NEED to figure out this week. Like figuring out if you should or should not try to peee one more time before bed when you don't have to but know you will one kick from now. Laughing yet? C'mon, remember to laugh... hell, remember what your feet look like? Betchya can't!
Hang in there, focus on the baby and enjoy this time. Hubby's alcoholism will be there to deal with later. It's important, not urgent
