"Come out with a sober partner" for how long? And what do you define as a "sober partner"- just abstaining from alcohol or true recovery?This is so close to my life experiences for the past 30 yrs. You keep giving him chances because of your hope he will "change back" and your desire to keep your family together.
That is not being a "stupid girl" in a healthy, mutually respectful relationship. You are thinking rationally in an insane, irrational relationship. I'm sorry, as long as your AH is in active addiction, the symtoms will continue to progress. In my opinion, it would benefit you to educate yourself about alcoholism and codependency- how to best take care of yourself and your daughter through this difficult time by not enabling, by detaching, and by focusing on your own needs. You cannot trust anything an active alcoholic says- as sincere as it seems, they lie through their teeth. Actions speak louder than words- be patient and watch his actions. My AH was sober for a 7 yr. stretch, but he was a "dry drunk"- did not work a program of recovery. Now he likes to throw that in my face, "Things didn't get better when I wasn't drinking ". I would not re-engage with him at this point unless there was evidence he was in a true program of recovery for AT LEAST a year, not just "biting the bullet" by abstaining from alcohol.