I did say that, Dolly, in front of the therapist. The problem is that AH doesn't seem to hear it. I put it in an email to him, too, explaining how I am working on building trust and that's why I am in therapy, etc. he made it clear that he resents my therapist and anything related to Al Anon and my recovery and has refused my requests to get his own therapist to work on his issues. He admits to having issues, but is so overwhelmed by them that he doesn't even want to start tackling them. It just appears that he wants me to go back to being a doormat and his idea of change is; let's see if the therapist can change my wife back? And, I'm just as guilty because I'm trying to accept the fact that he has changed, and not for the better. I ask myself daily if I can live with him as he is and I still don't feel 100% in either direction at this point. Hence the reason that I am willing to give the marriage counseling a try.