Originally Posted by
lizatola 
I guess when we talk about possible outcomes, there could be all kinds of possibilities. Is that what you're getting at here?
I suppose that is part of it. If your H gets sober, he may want to have more say in the family life than he does right now, and how your son is raised, etc., and he may not want to do things your way. Realize that if he did quit drinking, it would empower HIM, not you. He would find more of a voice, and follow through on his wants more often because they would be more doable and rational wants. What if those wants are sober, and rational, but they don't coincide with your wants?
I think what I was really getting at though is this--you don't like who your H is right now.
What if he doesn't completely like who you are?
You want him to change. Are you willing to change for him?
That's how I see the only possibility to save your marriage. Compromise, give and take, and working together toward common goals.